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Juan Carlos has been a member since March 30th 2011, and has created 207 posts from scratch.

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Best Free Online Dating Sites

With the rise of the internet as a means of communication and social interaction, online dating sites followed quickly. Young people who have never had a relationship use online dating as do those who have had relationships that failed. Widow and widowers are using online dating sites to find romance again after losing a lifetime partner. There are basic things that you will want from an online dating site and there are the “extras.” The best free online dating sites have most, if not all, of what you need to get started. First, let’s look at a couple of these and then consider the paid sites and if the differences matter.

Choosing an Online Dating Site

There is a good idea when looking for the best free online dating sites or, for that matter, when you start out with online dating in any form. It is to decide just what you are looking for because that will tell you what you want from your dating site and whether or not you want to upgrade to a paid version in order to get more useful features.

Online Dating Is a Modern Version of Speed Dating

Speed dating is an efficient way to meet a lot of people in a hurry. Typically these events are set up with some sort of selection criteria that are important to those who attend. Many may be based on religious affiliation, ethnic background, or factors like being divorced or widowed. A good online dating site lets you proceed in a similar manner by limiting who you are interested in by certain factors that are important to you. And, online dating is like speed dating in that the site helps you meet a lot of people who in turn meet your criteria! Much of what an online site does, such as posting a resume and getting responses, can be done for free.

Best Free Online Dating Sites

Free online dating sites are often more flexible in the choices they offer. For example, those looking for casual relationships or same-sex dating may be very pleased with what they find with free online dating sites. Some, like OKCupid, allow you to simply look for new friends even when you are in a relationship or even married.
Because of this flexibility, individuals who are separated but not yet divorced may have better luck finding someone using one of these sites than a more formal and focused online site. Here are our two suggestions for the best free online dating sites.

PlentyofFish

The old saying is that when one relationship does not pan out, don’t worry because “there are plenty of fish in the sea.” Here are the popular features of this site.

Able to Specify Type of Relationship Sought

We always advise our readers to be honest when posting their resume and when they meet someone for the first time. This includes being clear about what kind of relationship you are looking for. PlentyofFish lets you do just this.

Specify if you want to have a casual relationship or if your purpose is specifically to find a mate. The site will use this information along with your interests, where you live, age, and even internet browsing history to find several people who will good matches for you. And they do this for free!

A personality test is also part of the free package at PlentyofFish. But, don’t worry. This is not a painful hour long test. They simply let you describe yourself with a phrase or single word such as techie, homebody, of adventurous and then let you search for folks with matching personality types.

Anonymous browsing is popular on this site. Set your own profile to anonymous and people will find you based on your personality and interests. They do not need to know your name until such time as the two of you decide that you are a good match.

Chatting for free and email back and forth as well. On PlentyofFish you can set parameters that limit who can send you an email. For example, you may only wish to communicate with nonsmokers who are not still married!
Rating you picture on this site has its pros and cons. But, a highly rated photo means that more folks will get to see you. Obviously you want to post a good photo.

There is, as you might expect, an option to upgrade to a paid version. That this gets you is the ability to see who viewed your profile, see if messages you sent were read or simply deleted, and browse without be bombarded by ads.

For the folks who are truly looking for a serious relationship, PlentyofFish has a “spinoff” site called eVow. The function is pretty much the same but you will only be dealing with folks who are as serious as you are about finding a long term happy relationship.

OKCupid

Think of OKCupid as the personalized way to date online. You answer questions and the site uses your answers to find folks who are a good match.

The questions range from importance of religion, belief in astrological signs, tolerance of messy people, what for you is an “open relationship,” and whether your goal is sex on the first date or true love.

Those using this site can leave all of their answers public to make some private. When another person contacts you, you will be able to see if they are a good match by checking their answers.

The questions keep coming so when you answer again and again, you are constantly updating your profile.

Other features are similar to PlentyofFish such as being able to specify the type of relationship that you are looking for.

And, you can upgrade to the paid version with the ability to store as many as 5,000 messages and browse anonymously.

Best Free Online Dating Sites versus Paid Sites

Folks who are looking to find someone and establish a serious, long term relationship are typically willing to spend a few dollars for the tools to make the effort easier and more likely to succeed.
Excellent paid online dating sites include Match.com, Zoosk, eHarmony, Chemistry.com, and Our Time for the over 50 set.

All of these sites include the same features as the best free online dating sites and they all offer more. First of all, eHarmony and Match.com have huge databases of people interested in finding someone online. And, these sites all have a large number of people in every conceivable online dating category. However, the main focus of these sites is finding someone to spend the rest of your life with. If that is not your current goal, stick with the best free online dating sites and save a little money.

¿Qué es una cita exitosa?

La mayoría de nosotros diríamos que una primera cita caliente califica como una cita exitosa. Pero, ¿qué pasa cuando sales con alguien, decides que no te gustan y aprendes algo sobre ti en el proceso? ¿Qué es una cita exitosa? La “definición” de una cita es cuando las personas se reúnen socialmente con la intención de averiguar si la otra persona es una pareja adecuada para el romance, una relación íntima o el matrimonio. Aunque las citas varían de un país a otro y de una cultura a otra, en general involucra a una pareja que comparte actividades sociales sola o en grupo. El noviazgo es la etapa más temprana en el cortejo. Con el advenimiento de las citas en línea, una persona puede hacer parte del trabajo de la primera cita sin tener que conocer a una persona cara a cara.

¿Es una primera cita caliente siempre una cita exitosa?

Si su deseo para una primera cita es tener relaciones sexuales lo antes posible, entonces una primera cita caliente es exactamente lo que desea. Pero, si ha tenido una larga serie de primeras citas calientes que nunca se convirtieron en relaciones serias, tal vez necesite repensar el proceso. A menudo mencionamos al “novio en serie” que seduce a muchas mujeres solo para encontrarse solo al final, al final del bar, sin nadie a quien ir a casa. (Cómo evitar ser un novio sin éxito) Hay muchas razones por las cuales el cortejo es tan formal en muchas sociedades. El punto es conocer a la otra persona y decidir si realmente te gusta en lugar de estar sexualmente desesperado y dispuesto a caer en la cama con alguien. Las parejas que se encuentran sexualmente atractivas con demasiada frecuencia pasan por alto el trabajo básico de conocerse mutuamente. Y, cuando ese trabajo no se ha hecho, tales romances con frecuencia fracasan después del embarazo, los hijos, el matrimonio y un intento fallido de hacer la vida juntos. Peor aún, una mujer puede caer en una relación abusiva por el resto de su vida, mucho después de que la emoción de la atracción sexual inicial se desvanezca.

El éxito en Citas Rápidas

El objetivo de las citas rápidas es conocer a muchas personas con características preseleccionadas y hacerlo de manera muy eficiente. ¿Qué es una cita exitosa en tal reunión? Si bien es posible encontrar el amor de tu vida a través de un evento de citas rápidas, es más probable que acabes con una breve lista de buenas perspectivas. Este nivel de éxito está más en línea con el sentido tradicional de las citas como el primer paso en la escalera del cortejo. Y, con un poco de reflexión viene la perspicacia. ¿Quién te gustó más? ¿A quién parecía gustarte? ¿Qué personas pudieron eliminar muy rápidamente de su lista de posibles parejas románticas y de la vida?

En nuestro artículo anterior, Da besos a veinte muchachos, sugerimos un enfoque similar pero sin la formalidad de los eventos de citas rápidas. Cuando empezamos a salir, nuestras ideas sobre lo que queremos y lo que necesitamos en la vida son bastante inmaduras y pueden incluso rozar la fantasía. Parte del trabajo básico de las citas es aprender sobre nosotros mismos tanto como aprendemos sobre los demás. En el artículo también notamos que ir a veinte eventos juntos y hacer veinte viajes puede ser tan importante como besar veinte veces o besar a veinte niños. La experiencia es un gran maestro cuando somos lo suficientemente pacientes como para aprender sus lecciones.

La cita de la tasa de café

Cuando su primera cita es simplemente reunirse en una cafetería local, las probabilidades de una primera cita caliente son generalmente muy escasos. Además, el riesgo de cualquier peligro es prácticamente inexistente. Si se siente incómodo, simplemente puede irse y si está disfrutando de la compañía de su nuevo amigo, simplemente puede pedir otro café con leche, moca o frappuccino. Tener citas en un entorno no amenazador sin grandes expectativas permite que ambos se relajen y se conozcan. Este es el punto de una primera cita barata en lugar de una cita formal de la noche del sábado en un restaurante caro con expectativas infladas. ¿Qué es una cita exitosa en una cafetería? Es una buena taza de café, una buena conversación y un acuerdo para reunirse de nuevo, intercambiar números de teléfono o intercambiar direcciones de correo electrónico.Otras variedades de la primera cita barata incluyen viajes al museo, paseos por el parque o cualquier otra actividad que no esté en un ambiente ruidoso y les permita a los dos tener una conversación.

What Is a Successful Date?

Most of us would say that a hot first date qualifies as a successful date. But, how about when you date someone, decide that you don’t like them, and learn something about yourself in the process? What is a successful date? The “definition” of a date is when people meet socially with the intent of finding out if the other person is a suitable partner for romance, an intimate relationship, or marriage. Although dating varies from country to country and culture to culture, it typically involves a couple sharing social activities alone or in a group. Dating is the earliest stage in courtship. With the advent of online dating, a person can do some of the work of the first date without ever meeting a person face to face.

Is a Hot First Date Always a Successful Date?

If your wish for a first date is to have sex as soon as possible, then a hot first date is exactly what you want. But, if you have had a long series of hot first dates that never developed into serious relationships, maybe you need to rethink the process. We have often mentioned the “serial dater” who seduces many women only to find himself alone in the end, down at the end of the bar with no one to go home to. (How to Avoid Being a Serial Dater) There are good reasons why courtship is so formal in many societies. The point is to get to know the other person and decide if you really like them as opposed to being sexually desperate and willing to fall into bed with anyone! Couples that find each other sexually attractive too often bypass the basic work of getting to know each other. And, when that work has not been done, such romances all too often fail after pregnancy, children, marriage and an unsuccessful attempt at making a life together. Even worse, a woman may fall into an abusive relationship for the rest of her life, long after the thrill of the initial sexual attraction fades away.

Success in Speed Dating

The point of speed dating is to meet a lot of people with pre-selected characteristics and to do it very efficiently. What is a successful date at such a gathering? While it is certainly possible to find the love of your life through a speed dating event, you are more likely to end up with a short list of good prospects. This level of success is more in line with the traditional sense of dating as the very first step in the ladder of courtship. And, with a little reflection comes insight. Who did you like the most? Who seemed to like you? Which persons were you able to very quickly remove from your list of possible romantic and life partners?

In our old article, Kiss Twenty Boys, we suggested a similar approach but without the formality of speed dating events. When we start dating, our ideas about what we want and what we need in life are rather immature and may even border on fantasy. Part of the basic work of dating is to learn about ourselves as much as we learn about others. In the article we also note that going to twenty events together and taking twenty trips can be just as important as kissing twenty times or kissing twenty boys. Experience is a great teacher when we are patient enough to learn its lessons.

The Coffee Shop Date

When your first date is simply meeting up in a local coffee shop, the odds of a hot first date are typically pretty slim. Also, the risk of any danger is virtually nonexistent. If you are uncomfortable you can simply leave and if you are enjoying the company of your new friend you can simply order another latte, mocha, or frappuccino.

 

What is a successful date? Meeting at a coffee shop and getting to know each other qualifies as a successful first date.

The Coffee Shop Date

 

Dating in a non-threatening setting with no huge expectations lets the two of you relax and get to know each other. This is the point of a cheap first date as opposed to a formal Saturday night date at an expensive restaurant with inflated expectations. What is a successful date at a coffee shop? It is a good cup of coffee, good conversation, and an agreement to meet again, exchange phone numbers, or swap email addresses.

Other varieties of cheap first date include trips to the museum, walks in the park, or any other activity that is not in a loud setting and allows the two of you to have a conversation.

Successful Second and Third Dates

While a successful first date may end in deciding that this sort of person will never be right for you, a second or third date is with someone you know and have chosen to meet again. As such, unless you are just marking time until Prince Charming arrives, a successful date will involve some sort of progress towards a solid relationship, romance, and intimacy. (Marry a Prince and Beware of the Prince Charming Fallacy)

What is a successful date when the two of you have been seeing each other for a week, month, or year? First of all, when you have only been seeing each other for a week or a month, you are still dating. When you have known each other for a year, it is something different.

The point of dating is to find someone with whom to establish a relationship. If you are still “dating” the same person after a year, the two of you are having trouble making up your minds or have been unable to get together very often. In either case it does not look promising. The point of dating is to find someone to spend your life with. If you have not decided within a year that this is the right person or if your lives are such that you can never see each other, find someone else because what you have is not working out! This applies just as much when the two of you are compatible sexually but the relationship is not progressing. There really are more fish in the sea so go online again and go fishing.

 

When you wonder what is a successful date, these folks should never come to mind!

Cyrano de Bergerac and Roxanne

Los socios ideales no existen

El tema recurrente de los cuentos de hadas es que la princesa anhela y finalmente encuentra a su único amor verdadero. Esta persona, típicamente un príncipe guapo y rico, es su pareja ideal en el romance y en la vida. Desafortunadamente, los socios ideales no existen fuera de los libros y los cuentos de hadas. La otra cara de la moneda es que no necesitas encontrar a la “persona perfecta” para ser feliz. De hecho, la búsqueda de la pareja perfecta generalmente conduce a la decepción y se pierde una gran cantidad de relaciones que estarían perfectamente bien.

Citas en línea y encontrar la (s) persona (s) adecuada (s)

Cuando nos unimos a un sitio de citas en línea, esperamos ampliar nuestra gama de opciones. Conocer a más personas puede ser divertido e instructivo. Y, conocer a mucha gente mejora las posibilidades de encontrar una persona compatible para el romance y una relación a largo plazo. También hay una curva de aprendizaje que viene con salir con varias personas. Hace un año publicamos un artículo titulado Das Besos a Veinte Muchachos.

Cuando una persona está buscando una pareja ideal y el amor de su vida, es una buena idea besar a veinte niños (o niñas) antes de tomar en serio cualquier relación. El punto no es “jugar” o “hacer trampa”, sino llegar a entender a las personas en un contexto romántico y relacional. Con demasiada frecuencia en la vida nos comprometemos con la primera persona con la que tenemos un encuentro romántico. Tal vez nos quiten de encima o tal vez creamos que esto nunca volverá a suceder y es mejor que esperemos la vida.

Pero, ¿el primer chico o chica que besas va a ser la persona que te haga reír, te haga feliz, te apoye en los momentos difíciles, es un excelente padre para tus hijos y un excelente proveedor?

En el lado del compañero ideal de la ecuación, no necesita besar a doscientos niños o niñas para encontrar a alguien con quien sea compatible y pueda disfrutar, y el romance que conduce a una relación sólida y feliz a largo plazo.

Las citas en línea son una excelente manera de conocer a mucha gente y debes hacer esto. Pero, en algún momento, ya es suficiente.

Si nadie alguna vez está a la altura de tus expectativas

Si parece que nadie es correcto para ti, entonces el problema puede estar en tus expectativas y no en ellas. A veces, una persona tendrá la mentalidad de que la persona que está buscando tiene que ser una copia al carbón de su madre, padre, hermana, hermano o alguien con quien creció. En primer lugar, la memoria de esa persona suele ser idealizada y no la persona real. En segundo lugar, esperar a la persona adecuada de esa manera es injusto para cualquiera con quien te encuentres. Para lidiar con este problema, sugerimos, una vez más, mirar el artículo de Das Besos a Veinte Muchachos.

Las otras sugerencias fueron observar a veinte mamás y papás, hacer veinte viajes y probar veinte eventos con uno o más de tus nuevos amigos. Muy a menudo, la creencia de que solo hay una persona para nosotros es inmadura y un producto de no tener suficiente experiencia de vida. Salir para pasar un buen rato, socializar y aprender sobre la vida es una excelente manera de tener más perspectiva y encontrar un amigo, una pareja romántica y, finalmente, una pareja que te haga feliz y comparta las aventuras de la vida contigo.

Ideal Partners No Not Exist

The recurring theme of fairy tales is that the princess longs for and finally finds her one true love. This person, typically a handsome and wealthy prince, is her ideal partner in romance and in life. Unfortunately, ideal partners do not exist outside of books and fairy tales. The other side of the coin is that you do not need to find the “perfect person” in order to be happy. In fact, the search for perfect partner commonly leads to disappointment and missing out on any number of relationships that would be perfectly fine!

Online Dating and Finding the Right Person(s)

When we join an online dating site we are hoping to widen our range of choices. Meeting more people can be fun and instructive. And, meeting lots of people improves the odds of finding a compatible person for romance and a long term relationship. There is also a learning curve that comes with dating several people. Year ago we published an article entitled Kiss Twenty Boys.

When a person is looking for an ideal partner and love of their life, it is a good idea to kiss twenty boys (or girls) before getting serious about any relationship. The point is not to “play around” or “cheat” but rather to come to understand people in a romantic and relational context. All too often in life we commit to the first person with whom we have a romantic encounter. Maybe we are swept off of our feet or perhaps we believe that this will never happen again and we had better hold on for dear life.

But, is the first boy or girl that you kiss going to be the person who makes you laugh, makes you happy, supports you in difficult times, is a great parent for your children, and an excellent provider?
On the ideal partner side of the equation, you do not need to kiss two hundred boys or girls to find someone with whom you are compatible and can enjoy and romance that leads into a solid, happy long term relationship.

Online dating is a great way to meet lots of people and you should do this. But, at some point, enough is enough.

If No One Ever Measures Up to Your Expectations

If it seems that no one is ever right for you, then the problem may be with your expectations rather than with them. Sometimes a person will have the mindset that the person they are looking for has to be a carbon copy of their mother, father, sister, brother, or someone they grew up with. First of all, the memory of that person is typically idealized and not the real person. Second, waiting for the right person in that manner is unfair to whomever you meet. To deal with this issue, we suggest, again, that look at the Kiss Twenty Boys article.

The other suggestions were to watch twenty moms and dads, take twenty trips, and try out twenty events with one or more of your new friends. Very often the belief that there is only one person for us is immature and a product of not enough life experience. Simply going out to have a good time, socialize, and learn about life is a great way to get more perspective and find a friend, romantic partner, and eventually a mate who makes you happy and shares life’s adventures with you.

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